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Tasty Habit

My heart beats faster…I get this stupid smile on my face. I still get excited when I see him in the distance. That’s why this man stayed in my life for 12 years.

(He’s a tough habit to break).

How hard is it to break a cigarette habit? I don’t smoke, but I have a wicked sweet tooth, so I know about addictions, and that’s what he is. Not that I should compare him to something that has a life threating or unhealthy consequence.

(Well, sometimes I can compare him to that).

Maybe if I dated some real men, they can help me stop thinking about him.

(None so far).

I made myself believe I wanted what he wanted so I have an excuse to keep seeing him, but we have very different perspectives about family, friends, money and life. That’s pretty much everything stacked against us. He lives for a challenge and a fight, and I think that’s why he hasn’t given up on me. I’m all over the place. If this was someone else’s life, I’d have all the answers.

 

Writing is my therapy…

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