What does a happy ending mean to you? Marital bliss? A heavenly prospect? Or maybe a great way to end a massage. For me to answer that question, I needed to explore my innermost thoughts. I told myself I had to be real about what I want out of life in order to have a happy ending. My self-evaluation was difficult. Like looking in the mirror while crying.
(You don’t want to see yourself like that).
What I wanted has evolved over the years. My needs are simple in the ways that were complex, and they are complex in the ways that were once simple. What hasn’t changed was the need to be loved. I can’t get around that basic human necessity. It’s as strong as the need for food, water and shelter.
Why am I single though?
It’s because I don’t want to settle for a lying, cheating, broke ass man. I had that already… a few times. They are worth a penny a dozen. I prefer being alone. It’s also better than settling for someone you don’t really want, because you will still be looking for what you really want. That’s not a happy ending.
And a sista’s got needs!
To explain my outlook, if I’m at a restaurant and the server says “I think we are out of the steak.” That’s when I change my expectations. “F it, I’ll take the grilled chicken.” I’m not going to argue with the server, or demand to see the manager because I must have steak. I re-evaluate my expectations (needs).
I think that has put me at a disadvantage over the years.
Women who have a partner usually say, “there are still good men out here. I have a good man.” Is being faithful a part of being good? Some men are on Facebook posting and praising their wives, and also taking the time to private message me about how hot I look in my post. I’m not interested in complements from unavailable men, or to have a relationship/ friendship that I have to keep quiet about. I spent twelve years, on and off, in a dead end situation with a SINGLE man. I was trying to re-evaluate what I needed. He’s always there for me, but not really there for me.
What can I say… I have no relationship advice for anyone.